What a day.

So, this morning got off to a really rough start. I am in eastern time today. Which means that although it is, say, for example, 12:55 here, it is only 11:55 in middle Tennessee. Which normally isn't a big deal, except that today the bar results came out. At noon. Central time. So, while normally I would get up at 7:30, get to work by 9 and only have about 3 hours until the results would come, today, I would get up here at 7:30, which is only 6:30 in middle TN. Which means I have a one whole more righteous hour before I could find out anything. Suck.

Also, my hairdryer apparently got demolished in the plane (national security ?), so I had to air dry my hair. My hair dried without a hairdryer = 80's perm and frizz without the curls. Yeah. Yikes. Today I look like one of those people who can't seem to get over the fashions and styles of the year I graduated from high school. And it appears that I went to high school in 1989. Which I most certainly did not.

Then, I am pressing my suit, and notice all these spots on it. I just had my suit cleaned, so I have no idea where they came from. Each spot looked like a particle of brown gravy. It is quite a mystery how anyone can get brown gravy underneath their suit jacket collar. Especially when one can't remember the last time she ate anything remotely related to brown gravy. Not even Aunt Mashed Potatoes, twice removed. Anyway, it took quite a while rubbing all those spots out, and I still went to my interview feeling shabby.

Third, I put on my new pair of sheer black pantyhose. I slid them over my painted toes, got them over my ankles, around my calves, and then they stopped. Right at my knees. The crotch of the hose would stretch no higher than my knees. A cuss word starting with the letter "F" came to mind. And it wasn't fart. Unfortunately, my skirt does not go much past my knees, so there was really no way to wear them.

I began the great search for pantyhose. You might wonder why pantyhose are so important for the interview...it being 2007 and all. I like to think that while pantyhose may not be required any more, and going sans hose is quite acceptable, wearing pantyhose to an interview indicates that "hi, i know how to play the interview game. I am aware of social norms and will not embarrass you in front of clients and judges. please hire me because i am wearing pantyhose - an inconvenience and expense that is unnecessary, yet still noticed if absent. thanks." Also, they make me feel skinny. I tromped all over downtown Chattanooga before losing the tap to the left heel of my interview pumps. Great, now I am frizzy, spotted, and can be heard walking from a mile away. Tap. Step. Tap. Step. Another cuss word comes to mind - this one starting with S. I finally find a gift store in the Marriott which sold pantyhose. I paid 10.95 for a pair of hose that I'm quite certain are as old as my mother. But, they did fit, so okay. Whatever.

Then, I get to my interview with my frizzy hair, spotted suit, and 50 year old pantyhose. Waiting before and after me are two male interviewees who look like they belong on Gossip Girl or on Legally Blonde. Well dressed, perfectly groomed with names like Chase and Ingram. I mean seriously, how am I supposed to compete with them?

Thankfully, the interview was pretty lowkey. They asked me about why I was in Memphis, if I wanted to stay there, what I did for fun, and what I have learned so far while clerking. At the end of the interview, they said they were impressed with me, so I think it went fairly well. Of course, as soon as I left the room, I sure they conversed on the fact that "poor dear, needs a stylist, and possibly a new wardrobe." At least I didn't have to hear it!

So, then I went to this cute little place called Steamboat. They feel a little like Lenny's or Jersey Mike's, but just not a chain and not as commercial. I choked down a sandwich and a Coke, while looking at my watch. And looking at my watch. In case you had forgotten since the beginning of this redonk whining post, today is the day that I also learned about the bar exam. So, really, food, though a necessity, was not cooperating with my throat or stomach mechanisms.

Finally, at 12:30 (11:30 central time) I moseyed on over to the Starbucks to start an afternoon of "refreshing" until the bar exams came up. At one point, a sweet little lady came over to me to ask me if I was okay. Apparently, I was breathing so hard, she thought I was going to hyperventilate. I had no idea my anxiety was so apparent!

Finally, at 12:02 (central time), not eastern time, where I AM today, the results pop up. I take a big breath, swallow and click on the "R." And guess what? My name wasn't there.

Just kidding!

I passed the bar, I passed the bar! I am so done with the TN bar exam!

Whoo hoo!

I have to admit it is a little anti-climatic. I am sitting in Starbucks in Chattanooga typing this. As soon as I saw my name, I started to tear up and wanted to jump on the ottoman and announce to everyone that I, Artsy Fartsy, passed the TN bar exam! Instead, I called the Knight at work, and tried to quietly tell him that I was a sure thing. Then I called my mom, my dad, the Knight's mom and dad. And tons of other people who I am sure you care nothing about.
Anyway, this is SUCH a burden off of my shoulders. Now the Knight and I can go on our much-needed vacation all footloose, fancy-free, and feeling fabulous!

Thanks for everyone's encouragement! Now that I never have to look at them again, I have TN Bar Bri books for sale!

Artsy Fartsy is hoping that her plane trip home involves lots of celebratory champagne! And maybe Cheetos.


Miss Foxy said...

CONGRATS! That's awesome.

How much for the bar bri books? I claim first dibs.

Jess(ica) said...

Oh my god. I couldn't stop laughing. I'm so sorry you had frizzy hair, a spotty suit, and 50 year old pantyhose. I'm sure you still looked great!! (I was going to say you probably still looked "fierce" but then I realized you weren't trying out for America's Next Top Model).

Thanks for calling! Sorry I was so distracted - lunch time was a little crazy. Congratulations!! I'm sure your vaca will now be even more fabulous!! Have a great time!

Artsy Fartsy said...

Miss Foxy: Are you sure you want to buy them? I thought you still had 2 1/2 years left? I will totally sell them to you, but I just wanted to make sure you were serious. Anyway, I was planning on selling them on ebay and on craiglist. I would like to get at least $250 for them. But I also wanted to see how other auctions were going for them. Anywho - thanks for the congrats!

And Jess, I'm glad I made you laugh. We are so esquires now!

ashleystravel said...

WooHoo!!!! Congrats!
I am so happy for you. Glad to know my happy dances worked!

Miss Foxy said...

Does it matter if they're old? Which books are they?

Pargolo said...

congrats! as one who looked online but her name was not there, i know what a big accomplishment that is!

Carrie Ann said...

Congratulations! I still remember how good it felt to pass. I had someone else look for me, and call and tell me while I was in my happy place (i.e. I took the day off to shop in case I needed emergency retail therapy).

NikkiGrids said...

congrats - just so you know "the firm" did not mention anything about 80s hair, spotted suits, or 50 year old pantyhouse.

p.s. how did i know you would be into gossip girl. i love that show . . . xoxo "the firm girl"

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