Hold my hand...

It has been a rough week. The Knight is taking some major hard tests for his ATC stuff, I'm trying to scramble to get stuff done at work before I leave for vacation, and then, believe it or not, yesterday confirmed that being a grownup stinks. Sure, I like having a paycheck, drinking wine legally, and not worrying about being grounded for staying out too late, but sometimes? Sometimes I just want to crawl home, curl under the covers, and stay there until Mommy brings me some cookies and milk. Yesterday, I discovered that it was going to cost $980 plus tax to put new brakes, rotors, sensors, magical wizards, diamonds, and unicorns on my car. Mind you, this is the cheapest certified BMW place we could find. The dealership's estimate was roughly twice as much. When we got that estimate, the Knight just laughed and hung up. This month, the Knight and I have already put a full new set of brakes on his Jeep (not quite the fortune the BMW's brakes cost, but still, mucho dollaros), I got new eyeglasses and contacts, and we are going on vacation next week. Also, this month is my grandmother's 80th birthday, my father's birthday, and my best friend from high school's birthday. October apparently equals financial drain. AND I haven't even bought any candy corn, pumpkins, or an Ugly Betty costume for Little's Miss Rascal!

So, Friday is the big day for the bar results. Up until this morning, the bar examiner website still had the successful list from February posted. Starting last week, I would go to the site, click on the "R" section, and waving my fingers (all magically and spell-like) while reverently mumbling "Please have my name on Friday, Please have my name on Friday." Apparently, I am not the only one frequenting the site (and probably not the only one speaking spells and incantations at the computer screen), because now the website reads this:

Yes, this is where the successful list will be posted on Friday, October 19, 2007.
We cannot promise an exact time, but not before noon.

Bollocks. We know that. That is why we are checking today. And yesterday. And last month. Because we are hopefuls, idealists, and optimists. We haven't been practicing long enough to know that anything law-related always comes later than promised, with typically sub par results. We're still naive enough to believe that maybe, just maybe, you will accidentally or intentionally share those precious results with us earlier than you promised. That you will "throw us a bone" so to speak, because most of us worked our little bums off, avoided doing anything fun or beneficial for the entire summer, and spent ungodly amounts of cash for a monopolized bar review course. So, really, it is unreasonable to think that we wouldn't hope to have these results a smidge, skosh, or tad early.

As a matter of fact, I know I'm not the only one considering going all Harry Potter on the TN bar examiners, b/c I was telling my cousin this (he too will get his results in the "R" section this Friday) and his response was:

"Here's hoping the spell works!" ???
Are you kidding me, I'm half a panic attack away from visiting a Wiccan priestess with a grocery bag full of sacrificial-type stray animals and an eye of newt!

Heee! I have always wanted a bag of eye of newt. I wonder if it comes in the frosted variety? Or perhaps with dried strawberries? Or if I can find that at Wild Oats?

Anyway, I am definitely going to be with the firm I am interviewing with for a good part of the afternoon. Since I will not have access to the results, and I don't really want to bring up the subject with anyone there, Judge's secretary is going to text me when the results are up. Actually, she is only going to text me if the results are positive. If, God forbid, I have to take that blasted bar again, she is going to call the Knight who will in turn text/call me. He has agreed to bear this burden b/c he's going to have to deal with the fallout anyway. So, that's the plan. Now, I'll just have to practice restrain from checking my phone every five minutes while I'm at lunch with the firm.

So, moving on to more pleasant things. Well, maybe not pleasant, but at least more entertaining and less personal. Jess(ica) and I were discussing whether we were more of Britney Spears or a Lindsey Lohan. We haven't reached a conclusion, but did come up with a Cosmo-esque type test. I rather enjoy reading it, although it does seem that, strangely, Lindsey comes out ahead. It is as follows:

Lindsey v. Britney - Who U B?
coke v. weed
only panties v. no panties
crazy parents v. crazy ex
constantly changing hair color v. no hair at all
drunk all the time v. drunk all the time (oh wait...)
girlish figure v. had two children and "spray tanned on my six pack at my most recent performance" figure
sings while she acts v. acts like she's singing
runs into things with her car v. kids running around in her car

We also had one about rehab, but couldn't remember who had been in the most, and for what, so we nixed it.

So, who U B?

Speaking of who U B - How in the world am I every going to learn text speak? For a long time, I rebelled against text messages, but have now given in and come to love them. No more "hey how are you? Doing okay? Listen, I have a quick question to ask you...") Unfortunately, I am kind of stickler for proper grammar, which I know flies in the face of texting. So, at lunch I decided that it was time to get a textucation (like that?). I googled "text speak." I found this hilarious site that will translate English to "lingo" for you. Guarantees hours of fun for you and frustration for your text inept friends (like me!).

K, well TTYL. IDK wen I'll B PSTG NXT. Ill b @ d ~~~C___ NXT wk & IDK wen I'll post NXT.

Artsy Fartsy nEdz a DxtnRE 2 undRstNd her txt msgz.


Jess(ica) said...

Yes, since we last spoke about Lindsey v. Britney, I discovered (inadvertently) that both of them have been to rehab. So that's not a very good test factor after all.

ashleystravel said...

I am sooooo anxious for you! I will do a little magic dance for you here in CA to send some good mojo your way just in time for the results!

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