Here's to you, Law School.

After today, my blog can no longer honestly be titled "Artsy Fartsy Goes to Law School." Because, after today, I have already "gone." Today, is the very last day of law school. Sure, I have exams, but never again will I have to wonder if I'm going to get called on, never again will my immature fantasy of telling the professor that "I have been caught with my academic pants down and will have to pass today" have a glimmer of becoming a reality, never again will I be able to tell people that I am a law student just to see their faces either brighten with pleasure or screw up with disgust. I am done.

Unfortunately, I am not out celebrating another chapter in my life. Rather, I am in the law school library on a Friday night working on a Women & the Law paper whose topic has caused many the heated debate between the Knight and I.

I don't know what I expected my last day of school to be like, but this certainly has not been it. I rolled out of bed, took a shower, and tromped to school with wet hair and no makeup, something I probably have done only ten times in law school. I also forgot to put deodorant on. Since getting to school, I have worked on my paper for about 7 hours now. Somewhere in the middle I went to a class where I paid absolutely no attention and refused to clap with the rest of my classmates when class ended.

Don't really know why I've been quite the sourpuss lately, but it might be because I'm in denial. Denial that the rest of my life is starting. Now. Denial that the Knight won't be here for my graduation because he'll already be in Oklahoma City training to be an air traffic controller. Denial that despite wonderful clerkships, a fairly good GPA, and leadership positions in several law school organzations/journal, I still do not have a job. Denial that at the end of May, I too will be moving to Oklahoma City to be with the Knight and will be studying for the bar via iPod. Denial that I am now supposed to go to work like the rest of America with no chance of ever taking another "student sabbatical."

I really should be in a better mood. Law school has been good to me. I have made several wonderful, and hopefully, lifelong friends and met countless intelligent, interesting, and decent people. I have developed real mentor relationships with inspiring professors. I have learned how to think and write critically, how to speak to a judge and to a jury, and have been exposed to a whole new world outside of my conservative, white, upper middle-class bubble. I have tons of happy memories, football games, late night dance parties, keggers, bowling, Chillas, BLSA Balls, date auctions, etc. - Knoxville is even starting to grow on me. I cannot complain. So, as I sit here, typing and reminiscing about the last three years of my life, I raise my library-approved drink container and say "Here's to you, law school. Here's to you."


sognatrice said...

I remember feeling a lot of those emotions as well. It's exciting, scary, frustrating, depressing, and so much more. You're so right about not worrying about being called on anymore! Studying for the bar on top of all that is oh so cruel, but this too shall pass. Congratulations, and best of luck :)

Nerdgirl said...

i have that same feeling, i had my last class last week. so very anticlimactic. *shrugs* what can we do, but focus on what is next?

Amy said...

Congratulations on completing law school. It is bittersweet, as you have the bar exam looming. But once that is over, you can reclaim a somewhat normal existence!!!!

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