Spring is here, and I am weird!

The lovely Pargolo has tagged me and asked me to discuss 6 weird things about me. I had a hard time with this, because, while I have been told many times that I am a weirdo, I was stumped when trying to think of actual reasons why. Well, except for the fact that I love making this face.
Seriously, it never ceases to amuse me.

Anyway, I asked Daisy for help, and she had no trouble immediately listing about 4 things that are weird. Thanks, Daisy.

Oh, speaking of Daisy...On Tuesday, we both come to our Women & the Law class. I haven't seen her for over a week and we had maybe one-two phone conversations during the break. My point in giving this fact is that we had had very limited contact with one another, and didn't really talk about much. Back to Tuesday - I am sitting in class wearing a military style jacket, jeans, and carrying my brand new large mustard purse. She walks in wearing a military style jacket, jeans, and carrying her brand new large mustard purse. We look at each other, burst into laughter, and she says "I guess that answers my question of whether you think this purse it too yellow." We do this often, showing up to school wearing similar outfits, but this time it was just ridiculous. Too funny.

Speaking of ridiculous, what has happened to Men in Trees? All of a sudden, it doesn't follow Grey's Anatomy anymore, and appears to have been replaced by some show call October Road (which, I must admit, looks very good, but still - I LOVE Men in Trees). UPDATE! Read this!

Okay, here is my list:

1. I am a Worst Case Scenario kind of person - I am a panicker, a worrier, and I have been blessed with an overactive imagination. If for some reason I can't get a hold of the Knight (like he's not answering his cell phone or he is late meeting me), I immediately start envisioning that he must have just gotten in a terrible accident, and is lying on the side of a cold, gritty street struggling to suck in his last breaths. Or, if I feel the slightest sick to my stomach, I immediately mentally run through all of the foods I have eaten in the last 48 hours, run a search on the internet for symptoms of common food diseases, and by the end of the search have convinced myself that I have e Coli. I have no idea where this trait comes from, but it drives me crazy. On the other hand, it makes me a very good planner because I always envision the worst case scenario and try to plan around it. See that? That was an example of me taking a bad characteristic and making it a positive. I have been practicing for interviewing...can you tell?

2. I am Speed Reader - When I was 3-4, my dad taught me to read. I don't think I am some sort of genius, but I had a father who felt that education was very important, and from an early age stressed that to me. (This is also the man that would make us engage in family spelling bees in the basement during a tornado watch to keep our minds off of the storm). I am sure that I was way more interested in playing dress up and coloring, but I distinctly remember sitting on his lap at age 4, and going to through some paperback book with Dad that was talking about teaching John how to read. Anyway, since age 4, I have loved to read and was quite a little nerd (and still am) all through school. I remember being in middle school sitting with my friends at lunch and all of us pulling out books to read. Every day. We didn't speak, unless we were discussing the latest book we were reading or asking each other if we could borrow their book once they finished. It was definitely something the other members of my cheerleading squad didn't understand. I get all kinds of flack from my friends and family because of my speed-readiness, but I'm okay with it by now. I read during my middle school lunch time, remember? You think I didn't get "flack" then?

3. I am Dysfunctional Dieter - I have always had a love/hate relationship with food and exercise. For most of my childhood, my weight fluctuated between normal and a little chubby. I wasn't a couch potato, and my mom watched what we ate, but our family stays a little on the thick side until we are done battling with puberty. And then after. During middle school and high school, I cheered, played volleyball and soccer, and ran cross country. I was exercising enough that I never really needed to watch my figure (what I would give to have that body back), but for some reason I obsessively watched what I ate. I think it had a lot to do with my overzealous cross country coach's diet suggestions, but whatever she told us, I took it to heart and doubled it. I only ate sweets on special occasions, avoided chips and soda like the plague, and preferred to each chicken sandwiches and side salads over burgers and fries at the fast food restaurants. For a couple of years, I was even a strict vegetarian. (Something I've been trying again, for some some reason, I'm having a much harder time with it. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that now I'm the one making the food, rather than my dear sweet mother.)

Once I started college, the cafeteria opened a whole new world. All of a sudden, I wanted nothing but Diet Coke, french fries, and a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with every meal. And yes, I also took advantage of the reduced Papa John rate's for Lipscomb students. Many times. Too many times, to be exact. I still worked out a lot, but for the first time since my childhood, I was gaining weight and having a hard time getting rid of it. I think it was during college that food replaced shopping as a reward for me. Now, don't get me wrong, I still loved to shop, but I didn't make much as a nanny, and had my meager college girl bills to pay, so food was a lot easier to come by than any of the clothes sold in my snobby/rich part of town.

I think it took me about 4 years (yes, all of college - sorry, I'm a fast reader, but a slow learner) to realize that I could not continue to eat the way I was and stay cute. Unfortunately, by that time, I had already created some very bad habits and, even worse, some very large saddlebags.
Now, I am constantly on a diet. And I am a good dieter until I see results. Then, for some reason, I think that "I'm skinny me again and with skinny me comes nice and awesome metabolism." I start eating yummy things again, and what do you know, but all of a sudden, my booty has grown from JLo to J - Whoa!

So, maybe this dieting habit doesn't make me weird, but I sure can't reconcile my desire to be skinny while I continue to sabotage my own efforts each time I make some progress.

4. I used to walk around the grocery store pretending that I was a)famous, b) British and/or Turkish (depending on the day), and c)mentally challenged. I did this often as a child. I swear my mother considered taking me back to the hospital and making sure I was really hers. But, after she confirmed that I indeed am her daughter, she embraced my oddness and started talking back to me in my language of choice. Or asking me for my autograph.

Sometimes, she would even humor me by letting me get my own cart, put a few of her groceries in my cart, give me enough money to pay for them, and then we would file in after one another in the checkout aisle. She would turn around, make this awesome face filled with surprise and excitement, and say "Oh my goodness! Are you that girl? In that movie? Can I please, please, please get your autograph? My daughter would be so excited to hear that I met you!" I, of course, would haughtily oblige her request, yawn, sign my name with lots of hearts and swirls, and then resume my method acting of "starlet standing in a grocery line with commoners." Sometimes, people would stare at me, trying to figure what movie I could possibly be in, but more often, the sales girl would just roll her eyes, ring up my groceries, and then take my money. (What? We lived in a small town with, like, 2 grocery stores. Apparently, we had performed the same show for Miss Idon'thaveasenseofhumor Sales Girl before.

I had to stop doing this when my friends were old enough to work at the grocery store. Okay, actually, I stopped doing this a long time before we were 15, but sometimes, I still miss standing in line and pretending that my mother and I are long lost refugees from the motherland who have just discovered one another and can finally speak our native tongue without fear of oppression.

(Oh yeah - my mother nipped in the bud the act where I walked around the store drooling with my feet inverted. She explained to me that my behavior was insensitive and that people out there really did struggle with just the things I was mocking. So, I had to stop that one.)

(NOTE: I am getting tired and have worked on this for a while. The remaining two will be in the next post.) Kisses!

Artsy Fartsy is learning that sometimes it is hard to be a feminist AND have a husband.


joey said...

haha, great post! "J-Lo" to J-Whoa" hehehe

btw, i think that face is hot!

Pargolo said...

I LOVE the grocery store story! My dad used to ride the Chicago El with me and pretend he was a swedish/danish tourist and just happily talk gobbeldygook OUT LOUD (I think he took language lessons from the swedish chef on the muppets). Embarassing and hilarious, especially when he would ask fellow riders questions in FauxScandinavian.

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