Peanut Butter. Little Nugget. Mr. Roundworm.

In honor of Valentine's Day, I am going to share with you a story of what I believe is an incident of love gone wrong:

While walking home one day last week, I passed a cute little silver VW Bug parked on the street.
What was so remarkable about the Bug, was that scrawled on the hood of the Bug in bold black magic marker were the following words:

"Flowers are so 80's
You c*nt b*tch!"

This was very perplexing to me. Why would someone write such a thing? What is wrong with flowers? And what is wrong with the 80's? And why the use of such colorful language?

I glanced in the window and I saw a few lilies in the bud vase most VW Bugs have.

My thoughts on what the author was talking about:
1. S/he really hates flowers, especially lilies, and the placement of said lilies inside the car was so offensive to him/her that s/he felt the need to a) share his/her thoughts on the hood of the car and b) use permanent magic marker so that the car's owner would constantly be reminded of the author's opinion.

2. Perhaps the VW owner gave the author flowers as a gift, and the author did not like the gift, and felt the need to share rather vehemently his/her displeasure.

3. Perhaps the VW owner received flowers from someone other than the author (a secret lover perhaps?), and the author did not like that either.

I really wish the VW owner would put a little note on her car, explaining what in the world has occurred. Most perplexing indeed. Really, flowers ARE so 80's. Deal with it.

In other news:
Yesterday, my car got broken into. My CD player was stolen, as well as my iPod and my little iTrip thingie that uses the radio to play what is on my iPod. Strangely, my beautiful Coach clutch that I had left in my glove box had been discarded in the floorboard. This is the 3rd time my or the Knight's vehicles have been robbed. Despite the fact that I knew I wasn't in any danger as I approached my car, a host of fearful emotions swelled inside me. I felt violated, angry, and for some reason a little scared. I would say that I can't wait to move away from Knoxville, but then I am reminded the NEXT I am moving to Memphis, which is probably even worse.

Also, yesterday Betty got her 2nd sets of vaccines/dewormers/etc. The girl has been so much fun, but she has been seriously wearing me out. She sleeps in 1 and 1/2 hours increments, pees and poops 5 minutes after she ingests anything, and when she is awake is a neverending supply of boundless bouncy energy. I really feel like a new, single mom with a unusually energetic infant. Anyway, the vaccines made her oh so sweeeepy, and that made for a very sweet and peaceful evening. (Seriously, where can I find these drugs for her everyday?) That is, until the worm came to visit. Apparently, little Miss Betty had roundworm, and after getting vaccinated, Mr. Worm packed his bags and moved out. In one long spagetti like piece. Right in my apartment. Completely uninvited.

I was unprepared for this reaction. Yorkshire Terriers for Dummies did not mention this possible result. Naturally, I was quite frightened and extremely grossed out. I hurriedly called the vet, and was told that she was fine, to put the worm in the bag and bring it to the vet tomorrow, and to watch Betty through the night.

After hanging up the phone, I burst into tears and cried for about 30 minutes. I cried so hard that when I called the Knight, he thought Betty had died or had been seriously injured. Feelings of panic, remorse, exhaustion, guilt, and love for little Betty overwhelmed me. It is amazing how much I love that little nugget after only 5 and 1/2 days of knowing her. When she puts her tiny head on my chest and looks up at me with those big brown eyes, I feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted and she is all that matters. I know, I sound like a complete sap. But I have never felt this way about anything. Ever.

Of course, after learning that my little pup had worms in her AND that they were somewhat contractable, every little stomach rumble that I experienced made me worry that I had worms. Top that off with the fact that HOUSE featured a girl my age suffering from a 25 foot tapeworm, and I was one frazzled, sleepless person last night.

Not to worry though. I'm pretty sure I am fine (although I must admit that the weight loss potential through tapeworm and/or roundworm is quite tempting at times). I took Betty to the vet again this morning, and little miss is okay too. She does have roundworms and Coccidia, but we are doing everything we can to help her get through both of these (apparently common) problems.

(Betty is okay with having roundworm. And pretty much everything else. Honk-shu...Honk-shu...)

(Betty getting her first bath. She went from Yorkie-Poof to Yorkie-Who?)

(Already she's learning to charge at the paparazzi! )

Okay, I guess that's all for now. Sorry I don't have more funny stuff to write, but no sleep = no ability to effectively use scatalogical humor.

Artsy Fartsy better not get roundworm. But if she does, at least that means she can eat more Cheetos.


daisy said...

Scatalogical, huh? What, if we have to use the dictionary, everyone should?

Anastasia said...

Yes, getting your car broken into evokes a really creepy feeling of violation -worse than any financial loss. And as for car graffiti - I once had someone write the wonderful phrase *C*ntmobile* on the nose of my car in permanent marker. Oddly, when I saw it I couldn't stop laughing because I found it so ridiculous. Never found out who did it or if it was even someone who knew me. Hope your baby gets well soon.

Pargolo said...

Congrats on Miss Betsy! I adopted mine (also hypoallergenic) in September, and I can honestly say it's the best thing I did all last year.

I sympathize about housebreaking. my dog was a research animal before, so she had no clue that pooping on the antique rug in the front hall would not make me happy. However, it all resolved itself in about four to six weeks.

enjoy it - I am so happy everytime i come home to see my dog's big brown eyes and her wagging tail.

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