If only putting on a pair of eyeglasses could keep my identity secret.

A while ago, I reached my one year blog-iversary (January-ish?). Somehow it passed without my knowing. Let me assure you that if I had noticed, we would have definitely celebrated. With wine and cowboy boots and maybe even jelly beans. Probably getting a little too crazy here, mentioning the jelly beans and all, but that is the kind of celebration we would be having.

I am really stunned that I let such a momentous occasion pass. I am the kind of girl that celebrates my birthday for an entire month, and uses every other holiday as a chance to a) buy myself new clothes and b) buy chocolate and other sweets because, hey, it is (fill in holiday name here) and I just can't ignore Boxing Day just because I am on a diet.

As for the blog, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about it. I was reading this article in one of those lawyer magazines I have been getting ever since I joined the ABA (for the PMBR discount of course), and it was talking about your online identity and how that can affect your chances for getting a job. The article basically said that having a blog/facebook profile/myspace page doesn't poison your chances at getting hired unless it is filled with things that employers won't like. I understand this is a very gray area, and apparently the article's author did too, because s/he went on to say that since it is hard to determine what could be a bad thing to keep on your profile/blog, run the "Grandma" test.

Basically, look at every picture, phrase, comment, song, background image, and story and think to yourself "Would I a) want my Grandma to see this and b) would she be proud of it?" Since both of my grandmas are extremely conservative and prim Christian ladies, I think this test works for me.

But, some of you may have Grandmas who are crack dealers or "wild flower children" or crazy, fun-loving, spunky Grammy's who go to Mardi Gras each year, get a full body painting experience ("dragons? Yes. Snakes, not so much"), and run to Rio with 27 year old hottie named Juan. On a Vespa. In your case, the Grandma test might not be the test for you.

Maybe those of you lucky enough to have Grandmas that fall under the second category have a blog/internet profile. Don't fret. I suggest for you the "Aunt Bea" test. You remember her, right? Andy Griffith's mom? I can just hear her saying "Now Andy, what kind of father lets his son post pictures of himself with black eyeliner on the Internet? What will the neighbors think?"

So, either way, this is the kind of criteria you are supposed to keep in mind when editing your Internet presence.

I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand, I have tried to keep my facebook and myspace profile nice and clean. If there are any pictures of me that have been tagged by friends that I feel are unsuitable, I untag them. If someone posts a stream of cuss words on my wall, I promptly press "DELETE" (which happens never, but if it did then I would laugh and then sadly delete it.)

But my blog is different. I haven't done the best job of trying to keep it anonymous, but at the same time, always kind of hoped that if anyone job-ish related found it and traced it back to me, they would have a sense of humor. My very first post talked about farting. They would need that sense of humor if they read that post. I mean, that one screams "PLEASE HIRE ME. I AM A VERY MATURE, WELL-SPOKEN INDIVIDUAL WHO WOULD MAKE YOU LOTS OF MONEY AND WOULD ONLY TALK ABOUT CLASSY THINGS" I have also talked about marriage, children, sex toy parties, Secret Lovers, and a host of other topics that a potential employer might not find amusing or desirable in a candidate.

The rebellious part of me says (who is so rebellious, she doesn't even capitalize properly), "so what? who cares? why would I want to work for someone who didn't understand my sense of humor? who isn't tech-savvy enough to understand that blogs are common and i am an individual with a personality." The logical and practical part of me says (who is all about proper-y grammar and is kind of a Debbie Downer) "You are not independently wealthy. You are too fat and short to be a supermodel, don't have many acting skills, and have a seriously pointy chin. You have already married, and your husband isn't exceptionally wealthy either. Thus, you have to get a job, self, and your blog could jeopardize finding a job, any job, in this tough legal market."

So, I am wrestling with what to do with the blog. I could always start censoring what I write now, but I already kind of do that, and I already feel like a big ole cheater. Out of kindness to my friends and family, I have to omit a lot of the things I find most humorous in life. Plus, I don't really like using cuss words, but I always find them to add an extra element of recklessness and silliness that is hard to capture otherwise. But, I still don't use them. Speaking of word choice, you should see how I stress about writing even the most mediocre phrase. For example, I was raised not to take the Lord's name in vain. So, all my life, I have said "Oh my goodness" instead of "oh my God." But, that is still pretty much saying the same thing, and it makes me sound like my vocabulary is also peppered with words like "swell" "keen" and "heavens to betsy." So, then I have to find some other term to use. OMG is a little to texty for me. "Gosh" I use sometimes, but it falls under the same swell category. So, instead I use lots of !!!!. I guess I could talk about lawyerly things and whatnot, but I talk about that stuff all the time in real life. I don't want to come home and discuss the confrontation clause and the NLRB again when I'm sitting on my pretty green couch. No, pretty green couch time is reserved for creative and happy things, not the law. (which, hi employers! I do like the law. Just not when I'm on my pretty green couch!). Very frustrating.

In other news (thank you, Mr. Newscaster), I really enjoyed the Academy Awards. One question, why is it also called the Oscars? I need to look this up.

I rarely watch awards shows, but I hadn't anything better to do for the evening, so Betty and I curled up on the couch and watched. And watched. And watched. It took forever! But there were definitely some interesting moments. First, I really liked Ellen's hosting. She is so funny and easygoing - who else would try to get a picture with Clint Eastwood taken by Spielberg for her MySpace page? I wonder if she actually has one. If not, she should definitely create one, just for that picture.

Second, when little Mr. Jayden? Smith came out to give awards for "short" stuff, he erroneously read the next line of the teleprompter before he gave out the previous award. Instead of getting embarrassed or flustered, he shrugged it off with as much charm and ease as a seasoned actor.

Third, I thought it was hilarious how all the celebrities were nodding and cheering along with Al Gore and Melissa Etheridge with their "We're concerned about the environment" faces. I felt like I was watching a Green revival.

Finally, I am fascinated with Martin Scorcese's eyebrows. I kind of want some for myself. They are probably going to win an Oscar next year for best supporting actor, they are that interesting.

Of course, the fashion was fun to watch, too. My favorite dress of the evening was probably Penelope Cruz's. And, even though everyone is hating on Gwyneth Paltrow's choice, I thought it was awesome. Complicated and eye-catching, but not too over the top.

I love Meryl Streep, but what was up with her outfit. She looked like the cooky art teacher who showed up late to the school PTA meeting. Was she making a statement that although she played a fashion maven in a movie, she doesn't give two dimes and a nickel for fashion in real life. Was she proving to all of us exactly how good of an actress she really is, because I believed she was Anna Wintour. Meryl, honey, we love you, we know you are a good actress, and it doesn't hurt to dress up once in a while.

Okay, well, that's all for now. If you have any thoughts on the blog, lemme know.

Artsy Fartsy likes bowling, but thinks it could be hazardous to her health.

1 comment:

NG said...

I think the blog is great, and that most people take things too darn seriously, by gosh. :D We have got to have personality and lives outside of work, and why the heck would you want to work for someone who couldn't do the same?

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