Going Postal

Today while paying for shipping at the post office:

(Postal Worker) I'm sorry ma'am, your card isn't working. I'll have to scan it again.

(Me) Okay. Here you go sir.

Hmmm. Still not working.

That's weird. I just used it at TJ Maxx and it worked fine there.

Wait a second, my screen says "Call 911 - Contact Police."


Do you have any warrants out for your arrest?

Uh. No.

Please let me see your driver's license.

Oh, okay. Here it is. I have no idea why your screen would say that. I have never been in trouble with the law. I've only received one speeding ticket in my entire life. Why could you possibly need to contact the police. (fumbling in my purse to look for my phone).

Uh, ma'am, could you please leave your hands in plain view? Please place them on the countertop. (Picks up phone and mutters "Yeah, we have a 322 here")

Uh. Oh my gosh. (places hands on counter as obediently as possible - also, profusely sweating now) Okay. Like this?

Yes. Now, do you have any weapons in your handbag?

No. The most deadly thing in my purse is hand sanitizer.

(A few seconds pass with the postal working looking at me sternly)

I'm just kidding. Ha ha ha! Your card worked fine. Please sign here.


Seriously? Seriously. Worst and best joke ever played on me.


Cella Bella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cella Bella said...

OMG, I think I would have had to sue them for the dry cleaning bill when I SHAT MY PANTS OUR OF SHEER TERROR. Although I have to admit, I would eventually find that hysterical. Eventually.
(sorry, I tried posting this and messed up. I should not be allowed to use a computer.)

Meg said...

That is great! Why didn't I think of doing that when I worked in retail!?!?

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