My clinic partner came up with a delightful hypothetical and I just had to share:
You are happily married and faithful to your spouse. S/he is also faithful to you. You discover that your spouse has a supernatural ability to heal people suffering from incurable, terminal diseases. Your spouse is the only one in the world with this power. The only way your spouse can cure the disease if if s/he has sex with the terminally ill patient.
Would you be okay with your spouse using his/her "healing powers?"
So says Artsy Fartsy at 30.11.06
I have writer's block.
I stare at this big white screen and wonder "What do I have to say?"
Granted, about 76% of what spills out of my mouth is jibberjabber nonsense (really? only 76%? because I'm pretty sure it is more than that), but still. At least I'm saying something. Except that lately, I haven't been saying much of anything. Jibber jabber or otherwise.
I read writers like Miss Doxie and I think "Wow - she is hilarious. Genius! Why can't I write more like her?" And now, she even has a shop (www.shopdoxie.com), something I have always wanted to do, but never been brave enough to try.
Then I read posts by Ana and Cella and wish I was more clever, more creative, more eloquent, more like them.
But I'm not. I'm me. Today, I'm just stuck me. And possibly a little depressed. And tired. I have been pondering quitting blogging for a couple of weeks. I really enjoy it. I think it is fun. But I just don't do it enough. And part of why I do it is because I think it is neat that people read what I have to say. They like my blog. And I like that they like it.
Lately, I've had a few friends tell me that they don't read my blog anymore because I don't post enough. I don't blame them. I don't post enough. But I post as much as I can. But, that feeling - that dreaded feeling that I'm letting someone down....losing someone's interest....well, it drives me crazy. It makes me feel like a blogging failure.
Erikaboo no likey failure.
Since I have really nothing of interest to say, how about I just tell you what I've been up to lately? I know that this probably is about exciting to most of you as what I ate for lunch and when I last went to the bathroom, but then, Daisy and I can talk for hours about the food we wish our metabolism would let us eat and some people have an incredible talent for discussing bathroom talk at the dinner table (me), so maybe this will be of interest to you after all.
First of all. I have new hair. This picture made me realize that it was time for a new "do." Hi 40 year old mom with strange vest and turtleneck! How about coming over later for a hot cup of ovaltine? We can cut out coupons and talk about kids these days. And maybe, if us girls get too crazy, we can watch HSN or QVC!
Ew. Looking very Jan Brady is not okay with me. Especially when sitting next to a beautiful blonde. My hair is pretty much the same as before, except now I have bangs. I haven't had bangs in a long time, and I like them so far. I would call them "swoopy bangs." They tickle my eyebrows sometimes, and they definitely get in the way when I'm looking down. I'm keeping them, though for two (AMENDMENT! three) reasons:
1. You can't un-bang your hair once you get them
2. My forehead (thanks mom!) is quite big and shiny. It needed some curtains.
3. Also, in my fantasy land, bangs make me undeniably sexy and mysterious. All the Bond girls have bangs. So, now I am a Bond girl.
They are going to stick around for a while.
Also, I have a new hair lady. Her name is Jessica and she works at Ross the Boss and Co. in Bearden. She gave me the bangs. Some of you who know Knoxville, know that Ross the Boss is only about 1 step up from SuperCuts. Hair snobs across the land are falling over themselves in the shock that I spent only $23 (plus tip) for my haircut.
I go back and forth about which is better - fancy salon or walk-in chain.
On one hand, I like the shee-shee-poo-poo-ness of going to one of those fancy smanchy places. Sometimes they give you a bottle of water (or my favorite - glass of wine). Everyone is beautiful, fashionably dressed, and can pull off saying "dahling" and kiss-kissing each other on the cheeks. Also, they tell you how beautiful you are. And where did you get those fabulous shoes? And, honey, people pay lots of money to have lips like those. For a fleeting moment, you feel a teensy weensy bit like you are a famous celebrity.
On the other hand, if you go to a place like SuperCuts (or Ross the Boss), you don't feel like you have to be uber-fashionable just to go in the place. You can go in without any makeup. And greasy, Saturday hangover hair. You sit next to other "commoners" like yourself, just to get a little trim-trim. When I went to get my hair cut, I sat between a 9 year old punk getting his hair buzzed and an older lady having her hair "done." The price is cheap and the people are nice and normal.
So, I go back and forth. Right now, I'm more about the price than the environment.
Okay, moving on.
Next, last week, Daisy, the Knight, and I went off for a night of culture. We ate at Downtown Brewery and to see Aida (the Elton John version...not the opera. We are not THAT cultured).
At the brewery, the Knight got the beer sampler. There is no point to this story, other than to show you all the cute little beers he got. Baby beers!
See how proud he is? He is so proud.
Daisy and I thought Aida was fabulous (see the Knight for his version - he dozed off about 1/2 way through). The dancing, the music, the costumes - it was just so lovely.
Afterwards, we went to a local gas station for some caffeine and snacks. It was there, that I found the best thing of my month, possibly my year. A discovery such as this should only happen to me once every 5 years or so, because of my innate ability to go too far. To run it into the ground. To wear it to death. Because I think it is just that funny.
This is what I found:
Heee! Lil Chub! I just want to know who made this little guy? Did they create him just for me? Just to give me hours and hours of material to torture the Knight with? (Yes, I know I just ended that sentence with "with," but I don't think proper grammar applies when discussing a "Lil Chub".)
Just so you know how "Lil" this sausage is, I took a picture of it next to my camera case. I think he's about 3 inches long. Perfectly anatomically correct lil chub.
Now, isn't that helpful? I thought so. You are welcome.
Lil Chub makers - I luff you. You have made my month. Thanks.
Next on my list of random (only I could make a list of randomness - opposing and embracing the rules of randomness all in one action) is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving wasn't funny or anything, but just pretty and delicious. We had dinnner with the Knight's extended family at his aunt's house, and let me tell you - they do Thanksgiving up right. They break out the crystal, silver, china, and starched linens. Little silver trays of appetizers sit all over the house. Every room has a beautiful fall arrangement complete with gourds, pretty rose-colored lilies, and anemones. You walk in, and you feel like you just stepped into a photo shoot for Southern Living.
Here is the big person table. We almost got to sit at it, but at the last minute, the Knight and I got booted. Maybe next year. If you click on the picture, I think it will get bigger. If I were immature and still in the 6th grade, right now is the time that I could make a perverted comment about touching the picture of the lil chub to make it bigger too, but I won't. You are welcome again.
Here is a close-up of the main centerpiece. Soooo pretty!
This is my favorite family picture - a pretty good summation of what most Americans do after ingesting all that turkey and gravy.
Okay, I think that's all I got. I told you I have writer's block. I'm planning a little Christmas party for my weekly supper and Grey's Anatomy firls group, so I should have some cute pictures of the girls and my decorations soon. But in closing, I present to you my favorite part of my apartment right now.
I love Christmas!
So says Artsy Fartsy at 28.11.06
Yesterday while running errands, I locked my keys in my car. I had a trunk full of groceries waiting to be put in the fridge/freezer, and no way to get them home.
Since, the Knight was set to arrive that evening (11'ish) and had keys to my car, I just planned on waiting on him to unlock it tonight, rather than calling a locksmith and saving 40 bucks. In the meantime, I called Daisy to come pick me up from the shopping center where I had gotten locked out.
A few minutes after I spoke with Daisy, she calls me back. In her rush to save me, she, too, had locked her keys in her apartment. She had been very careful and had given someone a spare key to her apartment. That someone was me. The problem with this situation was that the spare key was on my key chain. In my car. Inaccessible to me.
So then, we were both stranded. Me at the shopping center, and her outside her condo.
After determining that there was no way for her to climb through a window and there was no way I could pick my power locks, we decided to call a locksmith to come unlock my car, and then I could drive home and unlock her apartment.
While our situation was quite comedic, what is more telling is how we dealt with our time while waiting for the locksmith. I spent my time wandering up and down the aisles of the local fabric store, wistfully wishing I had pursued the life of an interior decorator. Daisy hoofed it several blocks to the wine store where she bought several bottles and almost opened one on the way home. What an alci. Oh, who am I kidding? If I had been closer to the wine store, I probably would have bought the screw top wine and drank it on my way home.
Days like these suck. Stay at home.
So says Artsy Fartsy at 16.11.06
Because exams are looming, I am trying to get most of my Christmas stuff done now. So far, I have shopped for about 1/3 of my Christmas list, ordered my Christmas cards, and purchased our plane tickets to go see my mom and dad. That same part of my brain that causes me to maniac-ally scrub the 4 x 3 bathroom tile floor for 2 1/2 hours (just have to get that grime out!) also causes to me to decorate every square inch of our apartment with Christmas spirit. When I am done, it looks like a drunk Santa came over, kicked his boots off, and vomited up the North Pole everywhere.
We live in a 550 sq. ft. apartment and last year? Well, last year we had four trees squooshed in our place. One big tree and then a pink themed mini-tree in our bedroom (to go with our pink and brown motif), a snowman themed mini-tree on one of our end tables in the living room, and a red feathery tree in our bathroom. That's right - when you go to pee, you get a tree.
This year, I hadn't planned on putting up decorations. I don't know if I have the energy or the time to go through all the motions, though. As much as I love Christmas, decorating is so much work. Plus, the majority of my Christmas holidays will be spent in Nashville with the Knight. We won't even be home to enjoy all that time and effort and sparkles. I have been debating this for about a week now, and finally I have made my decision.
Today, I dug through all of our Christmas stuff to find Christmas cards I got last year on clearance. I am a firm believer in getting ready for next year's Christmas after the New Year. Prices are cheap, and when you open up all your storage containers the following year, you discovers little new surprises everywhere!
Things I discovered today that I completely forgot I ever bought (some links have pictures!!):
6 grass green place mats from pier 1.
6 grass green napkins from pier 1.
8 turquoise place mats from Kohls
8 matching turquoise napkins
12 silver beaded napkin rings.
2 packages of cocktail napkins with ornament pictures on them
3 "tribal" looking ornaments (also from pier 1).
1 snowwoman ornament - she is baking! How funny is that?
5 Country Christmas ornaments. I think I bought them for my mom. I'm not really a country Christmas kinda gal, but my mother can do more with a sack of pine cones, burlap, and flannel than you would believe.
3 metal "word" ornaments - they say peace, joy and noel.
1 sterling reindeer ornament
6 berry napkin rings (pottery barn)
A beautiful beaded bronze star tree topper.
Lots of little beaded curly glittery "sprigs" to stick on trees or on packages.
3 packages of gorgeous glittery package tags .
A beaded fruit arrangement thingie that can hang on your door.
You can see everything here. I know - I am a dork, but wine makes me do things. Crazy things.
I also found a Christmas CD from Pier 1 that I have never opened last year. I have a weakness for Christmas CDs. Last year I bought 3 before Christmas, and 1 after. I am always searching for that perfect collection of hip and festive seasonal songs. This one is pretty good. I know that because all afternoon I have listened to it. 4 times. Today. Yes, I recognize that today is November 15, but I've listened to Christmas music earlier in the year than this. If I am in the process of writing Christmas cards and wrapping gifts, it is my right to listen to Christmas music ... no matter what month it is.
A lot of people complain that each year retailers start breaking out the Christmas gear earlier and earlier. I don't really understand what those people are complaining about. I think it is a great thing. I love the colors, sounds, and smells of winter. Of Christmas. Retailers harness that, and pull out all the stops with their advertising and displays. To me, there are few shopping experiences more joyous than visiting the mall in late November/early December and witnessing all the elaborate decorations, freshly put out. It makes me want to throw parties and drink hot chocolate. Snuggle up on the couch and watch White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life. It gets me thinking about gift-giving earlier and puts me in such a cheery mood. I don't love how overall Christmas is mostly about presents now, but the more time I put into choosing gifts for family and friends, the less stressed and more happy I am about what I'm giving to them.
See how happy Daisy is? It is because I think really hard before I give her presents.
So, I think I have decided what I'm going to do. I'm going to set up my Christmas decorations this weekend. Don't worry - I'll take pictures. I know it's early, but then I will get to enjoy them for at least a month. Also, I can't use "decorating the house for Christmas" as an excuse to procrastinate studying for exams. I am already using that excuse. If you wanna come by and help decorate that would be awesome. Or maybe I'll just have a little get-together and invite everyone over for a Happy Thanks-Mas Party.
See me? This is me hypnotizing you... with my crazy eye tags.
You should come. And if you don't, I'll sic one of my trees on you.
So says Artsy Fartsy at 15.11.06
So, I ran into this blog today and she was making lists! I love lists! I make them every day. None of them too exciting, but still... they're lists.
So, anyway, on to my list...
Last night, I was laying in bed trying to sleep. I often have a hard time falling asleep, so I usually play little games with myself like "If I won the lottery, what would I buy" or I think up random scenarios and try to figure out what would Jack Bauer do? (WWJBD - Miss Doxie!). Last night, I was trying to determine what 3 things I would take to a deserted island.
I think it is important for you to know that I spent about 2 hours thinking about this. I am not really good at planning for emergencies and always sucked at those "survival" games we played in high school where you are given a disasterous scenario and a list of various and sundry items of which you are supposed to notate the order of importance for each item. A roll of twine? Obviously more important than a canoe paddle. With twine you can knit! And make bows! All you can do with a canoe paddle is row and possibly hit people with it. Which now that I think of it makes me want the canoe paddle more than the twine. Although with twine, I could tie someone up and tickle them. See? This is such a hard decision.
OKAY. Focus. So what three things would I bring to my deserted island?
1. A wine making machine. This would allow me to make all kinds of delicious wines - coconut wine, palm hearts wine, sand wine, the possibilities are endless. Originally, I thought of just bringing a bottle of wine, but then I realized DUH, I'm going to be here a while...I'm going to need more than one bottle. Problem solved with the wine machine.
2. My laptop. Before I went to my deserted island (do you like how I own it now?), I would arrange for satellite internet service. I would also memorize my credit card number. Then, when I'm on the island, I can still shop, watch my favorite shows and movies, email my friends and family, and listen to music! See, I have this all figured out.
3. The Knight. And you thought I was neglecting all my practical needs. One thing about the Knight is that he is quite the handy fellow. He can do all that hard stuff like building huts, carving boats out of palm trees, killing fish, and starting fires. I can pick fruit and take pictures. We are a perfect team. Also, I'll have someone to sleep with. All my needs are met...Maslow would be so proud.
I know. You're probably thinking...I can't believe she thought about this for two hours... which I see your point. It is kind of ridiculous. But just like when you read the teacher's sample answer before trying to answer it on your own, you always think you would have answered it the same way. But really you wouldn't. It takes longer when you are starting from scratch.
But no, it didn't take me 2 hours to ponder the above 3 things. I also started thinking about what the Knight would bring, since I was bringing him. I figured he would probably get to bring 3 things also.
Here's what I predict the Knight would bring. Just so you know, I haven't asked him yet what he would bring, so we'll just have to play the game "How Well Does Erikaboo Know Her Husband." Yeah. I need a catchier title. I'm working on it.
1. A small airplane. If you didn't know, the Knight is obsessed with airplanes. His internet addiction is not boobies or pictures of feet with jam on them (where that came from, I have no idea), no, he is addicted to airplanes. Really. You have NO idea how many websites are dedicated to airplanes. There are thousands. Thousands upon thousands of sites discussing VFR, attitude, altitude, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH. Anyway, I think that the Knight would die without some way to fly over our beautiful blue ocean. So, he would bring an airplane. Preferably one that lands on water, b/c our island is a little small.
2. A Leatherman or some other similar multi-tasking tool. Unlike me, the Knight is quite practical, and I think he would pick something like this. SNORE.
3. His guitar? Or possibly a brewing machine? This is a hard one. I'm going to have to ask the Knight about this one. So I guess, I failed as a wife. I don't know my husband. But at least you know why I spent 2 hours thinking about this topic. The Knight is a hard one to figure out!
But there you go. My list. I know it isn't very long, but it's me, it's what I thought about, and now you know a little bit more about me.
So says Artsy Fartsy at 8.11.06
When I was in middle school, I went through a phase. I believe the correct term for me was confused and insecure adolescent, but most people called me a skater girl, alternative punk, or my personal favorite - poser.
Most people that know me don't believe it when I tell them that I went through this phase, but I did. I died my hair raven black, insisted on wearing multiple layers of plaid shirts, wife beaters and baggy pants, pored over skateboarding magazines (mostly the cute t-shirts and tennis shoes), hung out with people who smoked weed (I never did) and listened to bands like the Violent Femmes, the Cranberries, and Nirvana. I wrote all kinds of deep, heart-wrenching teenage angst poems, refused to bend to my parent's wishes, and dated this guy:
(Who was and is quite nice actually, but was not exactly the future youth minister my parents were looking for)
My father was petrified that I would become some sort of agnostic Gothic hippie, and my mother spent about 4 years mumbling constant prayers for my soul and my virginity.
After a while, I changed personas, and moved on to the next thing (as I recall, it was cheer leading).
Anyway, even though I never returned to my skater girl ways (although sometimes I think relearning how to skateboard would be way more fun than being a lawyer), there are still remnants of my past that rear their Mohawked head once in a while.
For example, lately I have had this insatiable desire to get a nose ring. Not one of those hoops, but one of those cute little diamond studs. I just think they are so cute and a little sexy.
I have wanted one of these for a long time, but then my interest in getting one re-piqued last night at Nama. Our waitress was so adorable and sweet and she had one. I know that I will never ever get one. Mostly because the Knight, my parents, his parents, and almost 100% of the legal employers will not like it. But also because I am terrible at taking care of myself, and if I had a nose ring, it would probably get all swollen and gooey, and it would be more like a nose wrong than a nose ring.
So, I won't get one. But I still likey.
Also, I have discovered black nail polish. Last week I used painted my nails black to make my Halloween costume more authentic, and it was funny, but I felt different. Empowered. Or Edgy. Or maybe Bold. Or possibly Rebellious. I can't put my black manicured finger nail, on it, but it was along those lines. Cross into my lane while driving? Beware of the black painted finger (something I never do). Do something and need chastising? I'm already shaking my black painted finger at you. Naughty boy. Need to change the channel. My black painted finger is already pushing the button on the remote.
Anyway, I really like black nail polish now. So, that's that.
So, want to see what I was for Halloween?
Here I am!
Just kidding. That's Daisy. Doesn't she look pretty?
She went as a flapper. I think the black wig is very fetching. What do you think?
Okay, so here's my costume:
Ha ha ha ha. Gotcha again.
Silly willy. Do you honestly think that I would go as Frankenstein?
Hello? I am female. I live for Halloween.
Is it the one time of the year I can try to look sexy and not feel like a complete ho-bag? Yes?
Well, then why would I waste it on a mask and vest?
Okay seriously, this is me for Halloween:
Do you know what I am?
I am a mad scientist.
And the Knight was my monster.
The green stuff in my beaker?
It's an appletini.
And just so you know, my badges all over my lab coat read as follows:
"I (Heart) Dead People"
"Why Use Rats When You Have Cadavers?"
"Making Monsters Since 1981" (my birthday year)
"I Brake For Biohazard"
"I'm lookin' for a victim, wanna volunteer?"
and my personal favorite:
"Frankenstein is my Homeboy"
And here again, just for fun, is me and my Homeboy.
Happy Belated Halloween! Now go Christmas shopping!
So says Artsy Fartsy at 6.11.06