7.19.2006

Practically Giving Paris Hilton a Run For Her Money...

Hey everyone! I survived the brief. Got it done in a day and a half. Which is a big deal for me considering it took me like 3 weeks to write a fake appellate brief in my first year of law school.

Why did this one only take me a day and a half? Possibly it is because I'm much smarter now than my first year of law school. Somehow I doubt that's it. Rather I think it has to do with being stricken with the fear of the LawGods (i.e. partners).

So, you're probably wondering why my title vaguely references being famous? No? Darn. Well, I'm going to tell you the reason anyway. Just so you have to sit there and suffer through the explanation.

That's what you get for being so uninterested in me. More me.

Okay, so I have this neat little techno thingie called "StatCounter" in the template of my blog. It lets me track visitors to my site and how many times they visit. Now don't worry, if you're reading this, I don't know your name or anything. Just your location, and the time you came to my site, and some other pretty meaningless information. Occassionally, the ISP address is listed and has the name of the company the address belongs to, but no names. No way I could ever determine for certain who's reading the blog.

The main reason I have this thing hooked up is because I am greedy for attention and life validation. Yes, I know its sick that knowing a lot of people look at my blog gives me such joy, but at least I'm aware of my disease. Now, if only I could figure how to rig this thing on Facebook and MySpace, I'd be drunk with joy.

So anyway, since I'm always curious who is reading le blog, and have absolutely no idea besides Joey, who is my faithful commenter (thank you Joey), I decided to google "artsy fartsy shopaholic" just to see if anyone ever loved me enough to link me. And guess what? They do! 4 people to be exact. That's right. F-O-U-R. I'm, like, so famous and stuff. Ya know?

So, in no special order... Here are the people who LUFF me. Naturally, that's what it means when they reference/link you. Right? I mean, obviously, all these people either want to get with me or be me. I'd want the same for them, too, except that "me" is already taken.

So, here they are (in googley/yahooeyphooey order):

THE PEOPLE THAT REALLY, MADLY, TRULY, DEEPLY LUFF ME!

Numero Uno:
This is an article where a guy did a random viewing of 101 blogs and mine was one of them. (You have to scroll down real far to the end to find me). But, good news...He liked the name of my blog!

It didn't win first, but in his words he said "LiveJournal.com has a random blog option under its search header. It took me to Behind My Smile… Are the Things You Will Never Understand. It was my favorite blog title of the journey (although Artsy Fartsy Shopaholic Goes to Law School ran a close second)."

See? He luffs me! I ran a close second. Why? Because I'm pretty much the total package. Except that my title isn't about smiling. Obviously he hasn't heard that "Shopaholic" is the new "Smile." Someone should tell him. In case you are interested, here is the link to his blog.

Dos:
This guy has a growing list of law school blogs. Also, he has a little blog himself. I like it very much. I am under "University of Tennessee." Uh-oh, that makes 2 men who luff me! The Knight better watch out! He just might have to settle for Ms. Applebee's if he doesn't behave himself.

Tres:
Now, this guy really does luff me. He even said I was funny. I have no idea who he is or how he found my blog, but I think I might secretly have a blogcrush on him. Don't worry, its nothing serious. Just a true testament to how a little flattery will get you anywhere. Anywhere being "in my blog."

I have always love the name Luke. Luke Skywalker, Luke Wilson, St. Luke, Luke Perry...Big stuff happens when you are named Luke. He even has his own website. Not a sissy .blogspot.com one like me. Yes, I definitely think I will look at his blog from now on.

Okay now...FOUR!
This one got a pink heading because she is a lovely, yet somewhat fabricated girl. I don't think she's ever written about me or anything, but she links to my site. Which means of course that she luffs me too! Right now I am very jealous of her because she is studying in Paris. While I am slaving in Tennessee. But, she writes about her days and her Parisian lover, and it all makes for very interesting reading.

Okay, so now that you all know how famous I am, I must run. Part of being a famous, high-profile blog-lebrity is not having time to sign autographs. I know this because I am one.

And, if you are a blogarazzi and are reading this, yes, I did eat Baby Suri for breakfast, no, I am not leaving the Knight for Mark Ruffalo, and as for the question about the latest plastic surgery? No comment.

Kisses!

7.17.2006

You be Samson, I'll play Delilah...

What's 'more funner' than furiously writing a Trial Brief into the wee hours of the morning?

Don't know?

Furiously writing a Trial Brief into the wee hours of the morning while listening to Weezer!

Some of you may know that in order for me to concentrate, I have to listen to music to drown out the outside noises. If you ever walk by me in the law library and I strangely resemble one of those airplane traffic people with the little orange hand signals, no - I have not gone crazy, I am merely listening to my music with one of the library's circa 1985 headphones. It really helps me concentrate. You can ask Daisy - she has witnessed many a miraculous study sessions where a seemingly uncontrollable, spastic, and cartwheeling me settles quietly down for a day of studying -- all thanks to my trusty headphones.

I think I developed this habit while growing up with three very loud, gregarious younger siblings. The only way I could ever concentrate would be to just close my door and turn up the music loud. REAL LOUD. Oh yeah, my parents loved it.

When I was younger, I couldn't sleep unless I had a completely rewound tape of Paula Abdul ready to "Rush" me into sweet dreams. When we would take vacations, I would sleep in my headphones and I would always wake up with strange cord impressions in my face and a horrible backache (from sleeping on the Walkman). Oh the sacrifices my body made for me.

As I got older, I found that I ran faster and better when I listened to punk. Unfortunately my high school cross country didn't allow us to use headphones while we were running, so I never reached my full long distance potential (well that, and I was kind of lazy).

As I explained up in the top of this post, I love music and require it for optimum concentration. Right now I am sitting at the Knight's parents' kitchen table with cases, old briefs and countless legal pads spread all around me. I also have my headphones on (I am a good little daughter-in-law; everyone else is sleeping). Thankfully, I am making headway into a somewhat dense subject.

I have purchased (see - I'm legal) lots of music and saved it on my laptop. Like most people, I have all kinds of stuff to suit my various moods.

Stressed out? I recommend a little Garden State soundtrack mixed with a dollop of old school Cranberries, Jewel, and a skosh of John Mayer. (Also known as the Chilled Playlist).

Need to get pumped up? Nothing better than a little Christina Aguilera, Britney, Destiny's Child, and assorted rap favorites (Baby Got Back, Candy Shop, Big Pimpin' to name a few). (Also known as the Workin' It Playlist).

Having one of those "Gosh, I hate law school and wish I would have just gotten barefoot and pregnant directly after college?" No? Well, me either. But if I ever do, I know just what I need to hear...Manic Monday, These Boots Are Made For Walking, Perfect Day (from Legally Blonde soundtrack), and anything by Lillix. (Also titled Girl Power Playlist)

So what am I listening to now? Well, Weezer is done, and I've moved onto Move Along by the All-American Rejects, Leave the Pieces by the Wreckers, and In the Waiting Line by Zero 7 (probably one of my all-time favorite songs).

Gosh - you know what our radio stations need? Me. I could be the younger generation's Delilah. Heartbroken and need a song to soothe your soul? I'll play Trouble by Ray LaMontagne. Celebrating a newfound love? No problem -- At Last by Etta James coming right up. Need a good song to get high? I highly recommend Io by Helen Stellar. Not that I've ever gotten high, but every time I hear it, I just feel like it would be really appropriate.

If anyone ever needs a few recommendations for a song to suit a mood, I will be happy to play Delilah for you. Just leave me a comment and I will bring sweet music to your ears!

Okay, well - I guess I better get back to that brief. I'll let ya'll know how it turned out!

7.14.2006

What I'm Looking For is Einstein's Brains with Elle Woods' Sense.

Hellooo beautiful and gorgeous people! I hope you are having a great day! I am undecided as to the quality of the day I am about to have. On one hand, I have a big brief due for my boss due on Tuesday morning, and today is really the only day I have to work on it. I'm probably going to have to work late (on a Friday, too - which is about as pleasant as french-kissing a cactus). Gross. On the other hand, IT IS FRIDAY YA'LL. To me, that is grounds for euphoric delight. And wine. And possibly lemon drop shots!

So, brief v. Friday? I'll let ya'll know who wins in the end. On to other things--I have thought up an invention. I don't think it is out there yet, and I think that the female (and male) population are in dire need of my invention.

However, there is one slight problem with my invention...I don't know how to create it. That is where ya'll come into play. See, I know that all of you are much smarter and more creative than me, and probably some of you majored in engineering, science, botany, and women's studies. If you quad-majored in all of these, then YOU MUST CALL ME IMMEDIATELY! I have a very special job for you. And I will pay you handsomely...in wine. What could be better than that?

Okay, so here is what I'm needing. I need a program that will help me figure out the perfect outfit to wear to Applebee's to intimidate a rather large, unpleasant girl who likes the Knight's butt. (And please don't think that I categorically don't like large people, because I too struggle with my figure on a daily basis, it's just...well, it makes her even more unattractive on top of her annoying personality).

Now - Do not laugh! That is what I need. She knows that the Knight is married, yet insists on asking our friends "When is the Knight and his cute butt coming out?" and "Did ya'll invite the Knight and his cute butt to join us for dinner?" She has never met me before. Naturally, I must put her in her place. I mean, I am THE WIFE after all. And I have Chinny. So, she better watch out. But before I sic Chinny on her, I was planning on killing her with kindness while looking absolutely, breathtakingly intimidating and fabulous! But what's a girl to wear for this type of event? Little black dress? No. Too dressy? Jeans and a tank top? No. Too casual? Somewhere in the middle? Yes! But what?

Which leads me back to my invention...I have the general idea of what the invention should do. It should be some kind of computer program that has a complete inventory of my wardrobe. Also my checking account. And it updates daily to all the fashion magazines (namely Vogue, Vanity Fair, and In Style. Possibly US Weekly and People, too).

After it is all nicely updated about current fashions, it takes a survey...oh....weekly or so, about my likes and dislikes of the latest fashions, so that at the end, when it makes a recommendation, it isn't telling me to wear dress shorts with a denim vest and some sort of fugly capelet. Yuck.

Based on all of this information (Oh, and a scanned photo of myself so that it knows my proportions), the software should be able to roughly determine my tastes and preferred styles, while keeping current with today's fashions!

Then, whenever I have a wardrobe conundrum, I just plop down with my trusty laptop, type in the scenario of where I am headed, my purpose for the outfit, and also my mood. Press the enter key, and VOILA! One fabulous, perfectly appropriate outfit coming right up.

For completely dire and impossible emergencies, the software has access to my checking account so that it can tell me I have nothing to wear and I must go buy something... immediately. Then the Knight can't argue. I mean, how can you argue with science? And computers? They are always right! Obviously, if a logical and completely rational software program agrees with me that I need to go buy a new outfit, some new shoes, and possibly that cute new purse in the Coach window, then I must follow its orders. It is the only fair and just thing to do.

Okay, so that is my invention. If you think you can create that, or have any additional suggestions, please let me know. Like I said before, I will pay you handsomely with wine and hugs! See! Those hugs? They are bonus - straight from the manufacturer. Like if you tell me right now. And for only $9.99 more, I might even throw in a kiss on the cheek.

So, put your thinking caps on, use your noodle, and be the brightest crayon in the box. We are talking about changing fashion history, people!

7.10.2006

TIPS, TRICKS, AND TINTINNABULATION (part one)

Hello all! Just like I promised -- a post! I have been very busy lately, and while my life has been super exciting for me, I couldn't really think of anything that ya'll would be interested in.

The Knight and I attended a beautiful Florida wedding and reception this past weekend, and it got me thinking about the whole whirlwind of getting married.

From most brides' perspectives, the wedding is definitely one of the most fun days, and it is hard to comprehend all of your guests not feeling the exact same way. From a guest's perspective, going to a wedding is sometimes fun, but also expensive and time-consuming.

Since I had a budget, an extremely short engagement (3 1/2 months), over 400 invited guests, and had to plan the entire thing by myself, I think I might have some tips for other bride-to-be's.

As a attender of many weddings and an obsessive bargain hunter, I also feel like I might have some good tips on buying wedding gifts. And so, today I will share.

The past 3 years have been the season of weddings for the Knight and I. He and I both attended a small Christian university in Nashville, and it is a well-known marriage factory. For example, during each year's Homecoming, our alma mater always has a "I Met My Mate at LU" luncheon, and it always has tons of people in attendance. It is really quite sad how many people leave my old college depressed because they didn't get married or aren't engaged by the time they graduated. I mean, really -- what are the chances that you are going to meet your future spouse at a college of only 2,500 people? There are way too many people who meet at LU and have no business getting married, yet they still do. But there I go on my marriage factory tangent, so I will stop. Now.

In the past year, the Knight and I have gone to at least 8 weddings (maybe even more -its so hard to keep track), and were invited to even more. It is insane how much we spend on wedding presents each year. Add in the weddings where either he or I have been an attendant, and you are talking about some serious bucks.

Because we are both in school and extremely broke (all the time), paying for these gifts is quite difficult at times. However, I have some tricks up my sleeves that have saved some cash in the long run.

TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE (as the guest):

1. After Christmas, hit the gift and home decor stores. Look for nice, generic gifts like pewter candle holders, table linens (I am addicted to placemats and napkins), various bowls, serving platters, and nice picture frames. In early February, stores are anxious to get rid of all of their Christmas merchandise, and by that time, the prices will be super reduced (I'm thinking like 75 - 80% off). Some stores that I like to peruse during this time are Yankee Candle Company, Kohl's, Tuesday Morning, and Kirklands. Stockpile these gifts until wedding season hits. While it might seem like a pain at the time to just store stuff, once you have a wedding come up, you will be so glad that you have all these gifts already paid for.

2. Get on Bed, Bath & Beyond's mailing list. Tons of brides register there because B,B & B will give you cash back on all your returns. Once you get on the mailing list, they will send you "20% off one item" coupons about every 2 or 3 months. Save these. I know that the coupon has an expiration date, but the stores don't ever look at those. Sometimes, I like to finish out a couple's registry by buying a few of the little things left (butter dishes, utensils, salt and pepper shakers) and use a coupon for each item. Again, the coupon says that you can only use one coupon per purchase, but the store never enforces this. I have stood behind a woman who literally used 16 of those coupons on one purchase because she was buying napkins and napkin rings.

3. Go to TJ Maxx, Ross, or some other similar store and buy a frame that is big enough to frame the couple's invitation. Make sure the frame matches the theme/feel of the invitation. Common sense says that you can't go wrong with a pretty silver or pewter frame. Anyway, frame the invitation. Sometimes the bride will purchase envelope liners in a particular color and/or the ink will be a nontraditional color. These are typically clues as to the style and theme of the wedding, so trying to pick a frame that complements these clues is always a wise choice.

If you are artsy-fartsy, consider gluing pressed flowers on the top or bottom of the invitation or using watercolors to paint a faint monogram on a corner. Someone gave my sister-in-law a framed invitation, and had glued dried flowers plucked from one of the table arrangements at her wedding. While I don't recommend going around plucking blooms from the arrangements in the middle of the wedding reception ("Scuse me bride, but do you mind if I take a couple of blooms from your bouquet?"), it was very sweet to always have a reminder of the flowers chosen for her wedding day right next to their wedding invitation.

One way to really finish off the invitation is to get it matted. Custom mats are very expensive, but stores like Hobby Lobby, Wal-Mart, and Michael's all have very nice ready-made mats which are much cheaper. The mat is another area you could embellish with paint or calligraphy to make the gift a little more personal.

4. Finally, I love to give linen embroidered guest hand towels with a couple of designer candles. It is such a sweet gift, and most brides (at least Southern ones) will appreciate the hospitable guesture. These types of towels (and the candles too) can be found at any small gift store. I especially like to find towels with a monogram. I also really like the Trapp candles. Most of their scents are very pleasant, and the smell from the candles is quite strong.

5. I guess my biggest tip is to not be afraid to dig in the Clearance Section. You sometimes can find some great stuff. And don't feel bad about buying something that is discounted as a wedding gift. The couple will never know, and even if they did, chances are that they are as money-conscious as you are. But do not get caught up on the savings, either. If you find something that is in the clearance area, examine it closely. There is nothing more frustrating than getting a gift that is broken or marred, having no idea where it came from, and not being able to return it.

Okay, those are some tips for wedding gift shopping! Hopefully, I'll have more time to write some tips for future brides that will save some money or at least some time!

No - I am not dead. And I have not stopped blogging. I have just been super busy and was on vacation last week. I will try to post tonight! Kisses!

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