6.28.2006

For all you anorexics out there who subsist on Mentos and Diet Coke, this video is for you! (it takes a minute to load, then push the play button)

Exciting Shopping News!

So, I just ran to Walgreens to get some headache medicine, and guess what?? All of Revlon's products are 40% off!

That is a ton of savings, especially if you are like me and obsessed with pedicures. Revlon has almost professional quality products for pedicures. One thing I have been eyeing is one of those shaving thingies that the little pedicure people use to get off yucky callouses. Normally, Revlon's version is like 11 or 12 dollars, so right now it is only 6 or 7-ish!

6.27.2006

"Well -- My husband can do the helicopter."

Best response I have ever heard after hearing a wife brag on her husband by saying "My husband can hotwire a boat."

6.24.2006

No flip and/or flop...

Yesterday I had to go to Nashville to make like 12,000 copies of some documents for my job. One page at a time. From several books. Yes, I know...my life is so completely glamorous and you all hate me.

Anyway, the place I was making copies had its dress code posted in the copy room, and since I was bored (and a little nosy), I started reading it. It was pretty long, legal sounding, and specific, but I got to the section about appropriate footwear and just cracked up.

This is why:
"No shoes may be worn in the office that are backless or open-toed. No flip-flops are allowed. Any shoe that flips and/or flops is not permitted..."

Okay - does anyone find this humorous? I certainly hope so, otherwise that means that my sense of humor is completely shot. When I told the Knight about this, he just looked at me like "My wife is the biggest nerd in the world. Bring me some Cheetos."

Since he obviously does not appreciate office humor, I thought I would try it out on ya'll. Have a great weekend!

6.21.2006

Too Funny. The Knight and I could hear it perfectly, but his 50-ish mother couldn't hear a thing.

Pimps, Goats, and Monsoons – My Weekend in Memphis

Hey ya’ll! Hope everyone’s having a great week so far. As of right now, my ‘k’ key is sticking, so I’m warning ya’ll now – it all of a sudden you are reading and you see a word like “ite” or “itten” or “nuckle” or even my favorite “aleidoscope” (really going to try to work that word in this post)– and you wonder where all the ‘K’s are, well they are with me. Hiding in my laptop. Today is “bring your K to work day” or perhaps the Ks have escaped to the underground railroad and my laptop is a safehouse for all the enslaved Ks. Who knows – if I see Harriet Tubman out and about, then I’ll let you know.

On to my story for the day! This past weekend, Sully and I went to Memphis to see Daisy. Daisy is clerking at [insert fancy law firm name here], and this past weekend was her last in Memphis before she goes to her next clerkship. Naturally, we had to come visit her.

Did I mention that she is living with 3 cute pharmacy school boys? No? Well she is. But, that was not my motivation for driving to Memphis -- I am a married woman for goodness’ sake. With a very cute husband. Besides, they were out of town.

Pharmers or no pharmers, we had a blast. I have never been to Memphis for good girly fun. I went once in high school for a mock trial competition, but the most exciting thing we did then was go look at the ducks at the Peabody. Whoo.

So, Daisy, being the perfectly beautiful hostess that she is, planned a weekend to remember. I haven’t had so much fun since my birthday (which was well over a month ago), and this weekend was probably better.

However, the purpose of this post is not to shower you with stories about our giggly drunken behavior. No – the purpose of this post is to tell you of my top 5 favorite places to go in Memphis. Granted - - these are the only 5 places that I went while I was in Memphis, but they all rocked.

5. Silky O’Sullivan’s (also known as the goat habitat and dueling piano bar) – This place was super fun. It was very lively, and had a big indoor and outdoor area. Indoors, there are tons of tables crammed full and dueling piano players up at the front. Outside, there is another area for a band and a really fat goat who lives in a spiral staircase and wooden tower. He comes down the staircase and will eat pretty much anything. One disturbing part – the bright lights shining on the goat house illuminated a bunch of creepy roaches crawling on the wooden tower. I did not like that part, so I stayed away from Silky’s goat. Other than that, it is very entertaining, and one of the best places on Beale Street.

4. Miss Cordelia’s – I’m pretty much in love with Mud Island. For those of you who don’t know, Mud Island is this cute little island(?) that has all the adorable houses and is surrounded by a really nice park which is right on the water. I am a little scared to live in Memphis, but if I ever did, Mud Island is where I would live. Its just soooo cute. It reminds me of an upscale beach neighborhood (the placement and architecture of the houses), and there are a ton of cute little shops dotting around the island. So, why am I babbling about Mud Island? Because that is where Miss Cordelia’s is. Miss Cordelia’s is a quaint little grocery store, florist, and restaurant – all in one! The food is amazing. I had a Greek sandwich – shaved chicken, roasted red peppers, tomatoes, pesto mayo, and feta cheese on a focaccia roll. Yum.

After you are done stuffing yourself, you can walk into the little grocery store section. Miss Cordelia has everything you need, and the food is presented in such a way that you feel that you are either in (a) a really posh little market trying to be homey or (b) a homey little store trying to be posh. Either way – its completely fabulous, and they have the most beautiful fresh flowers. While I was there, they had huge bunches of gladiolas for 8 bucks. Of course, Daisy’s roomies didn’t have a vase of any kind in their apartment, so we didn’t get any. But don’t think I didn’t lust after those gorgeous glads for days.

In conclusion – Miss Cordelia’s = Posh A+

3. Zanzibar’s – to get from Mud Island (where we stayed) to Zanzibar’s, you can take the trolley. It only costs $1, and it will take you all over the city. Plus, you get to feel like a complete tourist – no fanny pack needed.

Zanzibar’s is this great little bistro in the South Main district. I don’t know it if is officially located in the “art district,” but it had a gallery inside the restaurant and there was another art museum across the street. All around were little bohemian shops. Z’s decor was a 'aleidoscope' of colors and was very delicious (red and yellow pepper frittata, roasted potatoes and one perfect bloody Mary). I have to say that my favorite part of the place wasn’t the food, but rather the little jazz band playing the brunch on Sunday morning. I mean – where else can you go that has a band at noon on a Sunday? Only Memphis, only Memphis.

2. Blue Fin – okay, so really – why are all of my favorite places restaurants? Because I have a lifelong dream of being a professional eater. I am such a foodie. Food! Yum!

On to Blue Fin – it is a very hip sushi place downtown. Very “Sex in the City” ambiance. They seriously have the best edamame I have ever tasted. The place is decorated with amazing oil paintings and a lot of the tables are placed between huge beautiful blue velvet modern couches. Wow – I just used 5 adjectives to describe those couches – but I guess 4 just wouldn’t do the them justice. The place is fairly priced for upscale sushi and the rolls...oooooh – don’t get me started on their sushi rolls. Uh-mazing.

1. So, wonder what my number one favorite place was? I bet you do. Okay – since number one is so special, let’s play a game. I’m going to give you clues – one at a time. See how many clues it takes to guess number one, and then tell me in the comments.

Okay – first clue. It has a stripper pole, but it is not a strip club.

Second – the use of several smoke machines and flashing sirens are this place’s primary decorative elements.

Third – The only thing this place serves is Bud Light 40’s. That’s right. 40’s.

Fourth – The primary activity at this place is dancing on the stage and on the Saturday Night Fever-esque dance floor.

Fifth – This business sends limos all around the city to pick patrons up…for free.

Sixth – The crowd is predominantly white.

Seventh – It is in a sketchy part of town.

Eighth – Most people literally dance until dawn.

Ninth – The DJ is famous in Memphis for his Geri-Curl hair.

Tenth – And his outrageous attire.

Eleventh – And his former profession.

Twelfth – The place is named after this famous DJ – he owns it.

Thirteenth - Here is a picture of us. Okay so maybe this is or isn't a clue, but Blogger's photo upload thingie isn't working right now, so this is the next best way to show your our sweaty (or "glowing" if you are my mother) faces!

Still don’t know? Well, okay. The place is called Raiford’s (pronounced ray-furds). Raiford used to be/still might be a pimp. The night we were there he had on a bedazzled black and gray track suit, matching boots, and a cape. Fabulous.

He has this crazy dance club that plays all the fun dance music from the 80’s, 90’s, and today (do I sound like a radio station ad or what?). I’ll warn you – a night at Raiford’s must be carefully planned. Do not – I repeat – DO NOT go to Raiford’s the night before a big event. You will need at least an entire day to recover. But it is well worth the day of recovery. I have to say that I think the limo part was the best. My friends and I finished bar-hopping on Beale Street and were looking for a cab to take us to Raiford’s. All of a sudden – as if the Raiford’s angel could hear our pleas, a limo with the name “Raiford’s” pulls up, the doors open, and off we go to our late night dance party.

Well – as you can see I would embarrassingly fail as a Memphis tour guide. All my guests would be drunk and fat by the time I was through with them. But – I hope you enjoyed my little stab at tourism writing. And the next time you want to go to Raiford's...I'm so there.

As for the monsoon reference in the title - Sully and I drove home in the heaviest rain I have witnessed in a long time. I'm quite positive that the rain cloud thought we were hot, so he just followed us all the way from Memphis to Nashville. I still have white knuckles from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. We drove on average 35 mph on an interstate with a posted speed limit of 70. It was awful. I feel for the people who experience a true monsoon season. Monsoonies - my heart goes out to you. While my experience was awful, your experience is at least a 127 times worse.

Okay - that's all for now. Bye!

6.14.2006

Bonnaroonie Conundrum!

I drive through a tiny little town called Manchester on my way to work. It's cute, I suppose. It has a few antique stores, a great produce stand, and once a year, it hosts a music festival called Bonnaroo. The festival lasts all weekend, and is a huge gathering of music-lovers, hippies, and druggies. It starts this Friday.

Already I see signs of pending Bonnaroondom as I drive to and from work every day. Hot dog stands have started popping up. Camping tents are quickly appering on the sides of the highway. Gas is creeping up at an unaccounted-for rate. Local businesses have started putting their greetings up for the festival goers. "Welcome Bonnaroonies!" and "Get Your Bonnaroovenirs Here!" (I believe that last one is a reference to Bonnaroo Souvenirs - in case you didn't get it the first time. It took me a couple of drive-bys to be able to read the whole word quickly enough to gather its meaning, so don't feel bad).

Now most of you have probably heard about this little get together. A little get together of 80,000 people. 80,000 people which I will have to deal with on my way to work tomorrow and Friday. 80,000 people and me - all fighting for a spot on the 4-lane highway. Just thinking about the traffic is already making me feel like a jaded and seasoned local.

After asking around the office, the people I work with have guessed that tomorrow it will probably take me 1 and 1/2 to 1 and 3/4 hours to get to work. Normally, I drive about 45 minutes. On Friday, the festival actually starts, and there is no way to know how long my drive will be. 2 maybe 3 hours? Now, I must admit - the drive tomorrow will be interesting, to say the least. I am willing to make the drive tomorrow, solely for entertainment purposes. But Friday? Friday's drive to work sucks anyway. Who wants to go to work on Friday -- ever?

I am contemplating taking the day off, or working from home on my laptop. Hopefully, the partners will go for it. If my drive to work seriously takes 3 hours, then I think it would be a better use of my time to just stay at home, work in my PJ's, and intermittently snatch a clip of HGTV now and then.

What do ya'll think?

6.11.2006

I'm the new captain of the yardsailing team!

Hope everyone is having a great week. I have wanted to post for a while, but several things have gotten in the way. First I got sick. Then my computer completely crashed (and I mean crashed. I lost everything). Then I got involved in a very exciting, but time-consuming trial. And then....well, then there was now, and I'm finally posting.

Since it has been a while since I have posted, here is Boo's week in review:

Monday:
Wore an out-of-season suit to work. Why? Because I am so sick of wearing the same sixorsevenish suits every single day. I thought it was an all-season material, but when my car's air conditioner gave out, and we experienced a unusually hot day, I realized my thoughts were wrong.

This is also the day that I got sick at work and had to come home. Although I don't like being sick, it was nice to get off work early and sleep all day without feeling guilty.

Tuesday: Felt a little better and went back to work. Nothing interesting happened until later in the evening. The whole family was sitting around watching old episodes of 24 and discussing the Knight's father's upcoming scuba-diving trip. One of the islands that he is going to requires all women to keep their thighs completely covered, but yet they all go topless. I started teasing him about how we'll never see him again, once he gets to that island. The Knight's father felt it necessary to respond that he always felt that if he had his own boobs, he would never leave his bedroom. AWKWARD!

Wednesday: Spent a long day at work getting absolutely nothing done. How does that happen? Came home and went to the fish fry at the Knight's parents' church. Felt that my life had truly become the modern Mayberry.

Thursday: Went to exciting and fun attempted murder case! Got to help pick a jury and then watched the DA get scared and make us a deal we couldn't refuse. The attorney I was with reminded me of Richard Gere in "Chicago." RAZZLE AND DAZZLE 'EM! It was very exciting and scary all at the same time. How in the world am I ever going to be a big girl attorney?

Friday: Got my bonsai tree in the mail! He is so cute - a Golden Gate Ficus. I have named him Fonz the Bonz. He loves me. My other little plant, Arthur, is a little jealous. I will try to smooth things over between them, but seeing as the Fonz is a little more high maintenance, Arthur will just have to get over it. Also, the Knight and I went to see the Da Vinci Code (finally). It was very exciting and wonderfully directed. I really liked how they depicted the historical scenes in a hazy translucent way in modern day Europe.

Saturday: Exciting news! I found a coffee table at a yard sale that I adore (and at an incredible price - $8). It needs a little love, but give it a little stain and shine - it will be perfect! I also got a beautiful sterling silver food warmer for $7 bucks! It had never been used and was still in the box. I also got a nice quiche pan for $1. The Knight has dubbed me the captain of the yardsailing team.

Sunday: The Knight and I rode the motorcycle to Rock Island and hung out with some old friends. We rode for a couple of hours this afternoon, and after passing several rural homes, nurseries, and cow pastures, I realized something. Southern people don't hold anything back. They want everyone to know exactly who they are and where they come from. That's why is not uncommon to see several rusted out barrels, clothes drying on a line, a wagon wheel, 2 or 3 faded Little Tykes kitchens, and numerous yard art sculptures among the flower beds. And I do truly mean "flower beds" - beds half buried in the yard with flowers planted in them. What a bunch of wasted effort.

As you can see, it has been an uneventful week. Here is one cute blog that I have recently discovered. She has advertised on my blog, and I think its so cute!

6.01.2006

I should be a member of White Zombie...

At first I wanted this title to say "I am not dead" but then I felt that If I said that, I would be on the border of Lyingville and TellingAStorytown. Because here's the thing - I might be living, breathing, and managing to put the same kind of shoe on each foot, but MAN -- work makes me feel dead by the end of each day!

When I get home every day, I really could just go straight to bed and sleep until its time to get up the next day.

Don't get me wrong, I do like my clerkship. The work is interesting and challenging and the small town community feel is so nice.

But I'm always so nervous! And I spend all day either researching and trying to be likeable. All of those things are very exhausting for me. Add in a total commute time of 1.5 hours and you have one very zombie-like girl. I know, I know - I am whining. But we all know how much I like whine! (no fake laughs needed - I am aware of my nerdiness).

So, when I get home around 7ish - I do the following:
a) take off insanely pointy and high heels
b) give family members hugs (husband, mother-in-law, & father-in-law)
c) eat dinner
d) go into vegetative comatose state until 10 p.m.
e) go to bed
f) sleep
g) start over

I know - you are all extremely jealous of my uber glamorous life, but only a few are so lucky ;).

My newly plain and simple life lends itself to very little blogging - which you may have noticed. It's not that I don't want to write, its just that not a lot goes on and I don't want to bore you with the details. On the other hand, I did just give you a pathetic itinerary of my evenings, so it appears that I already have.

Since this has become the official "bore readers to death" blog - I'll give you the rundown of the other assorted things in my life.

WARNING - An excessive use of exclamation points in the following information may be used to counteract the mediocrity of the topic! Do not be influenced by the exclamation points! They are not flammable! They are merely used for punctuation purposes!

!1!: Since the The Knight and I have been living with his parents, we have been sleeping on his two twin beds from his childhood room!! Recently, his parents got a new king-sized bed, so we inherited their old queen!! It is wonderful, big, and allows the Knight and I to coexist as married people in the 21st century rather than Lucy and Desi!! This is big news, by the way!!

!2!: The Knight and I are on the brink of becoming full fledged tree hugging nature people!! This weekend we went canoeing!! Next weekend we are also going canoeing!! I still don't like spiders or snakes!!

!3!: I also drank beer while canoeing!! Most of you know that I don't like beer!! But maybe now I do!! Especially when it is the only thing available to drink!! Other than spider infested river water!!

!4!: I have gained 4 lbs in 3 weeks!! I don't know how this is possible!! It might have something to do with eating with attorneys every day!! At restaurants!! Did I mention that in addition to being a verbal vomiter, I am also a nervous eater!!

!5!: I have been whitening my teeth!! I can't tell if it is working yet!! I feel I might be counteracting its effectiveness by drinking massive quantities of coffee in the morning!!

!6!: I didn't fail Income Taxation!!

!7!: I am done with this list!! Right now I have an insatiable urge to go shopping!! Too bad it is already 8:45 p.m.!!

!8!: I need to wash my car and get my tires rotated!!

!9!: More exciting news later!!

~Boo

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