I just took a 3 hour nap. It was delicious. My house is dirty, there is always homework to do, and I need to do some research for the lovely professor that I work for.

But, instead, I threw caution to the wind, laid down and snoozed for, like, 3 hours. Law school is hard at times, but it is way better than working a real job.


It's an LG tradition...

That's right folks, I have just returned from the charming town of LaGrange, GA. For the past, oh, 6or7ish years, my Sisters of Joy from Slipscomb Suniversity and I go to my dear Little Sister's parent's house (let's call them the Big's) and eat, drink, sleep, and cause general raucous throughout the town. We really do just take over the dang place. We've partied with the local fratties, planned many pranks involving the town square fountain, swarmed the local nail salon, spent countless hours in the Big's beautiful saltwater hot tub, eaten our weight in gold, and lusted over Dr. Big (hot dad + surgeon = WOW). Every year we go, and every year new memories are made.

Upon return to Knoxvegas from this trip, I pondered how each trip has been such a good gauge of our age and maturity. The first year, I and three others made the trip (aka known as the original 4 LG'ers). LaGrange celebrated our arrival by offering up 3 (or 4?) frat boys for our kissing pleasure. These boys (with names from the Bible and assorted initials) weren't the most attractive creatures and there was absolutely NO chemistry, yet we egged each other on enough to the point that each girl covertly picked a boy with which to toy.

These poor boys did not know who they were dealing with when we took advantage of them, and for months later we had to deal with their calls and even, yes, their letters. Did they know such an encounter is only good if never acknowledged? Sadly no, but I assume they got over it - at least my personal pet did (though I did get the majority of the calls and letters) - I think he's married now.

Anyway... our maturity level (or lack thereof) wasn't reflected in the fact that we toyed with boys and got their testosterone jogging. No, such behavior is still quite acceptable and perhaps even expected. In fact, I think 1/2 of us are still guilty of such actions and the other 1/2 probably would be if we weren't married.

No, the real evidence of our lacking grown-upness was our estatic giddiness over canoodling with such bland fellows. I'm convinced our fun was doubled b/c they were not really cute, kind of boring, and in a state of shock from receiving attention from us. Why was that so fun to us? Did we feel as if we were giving them a present - the pleasure of our presence? Like pro bono for needy boys? Is this like the female equivalent of those boys who take helpless squirrels and stick lit firecrackers up their bottomusses?

Regardless, we had a blast, and since then the trips have become a yearly tradition. While this past weekend was relatively tame (the wildest portion of our trip included drinking excessive amounts of wine and contemplating getting a tattoo), we have had some wild times. . . it really is amazing that we leave each year unscathed and without a criminal record.

Well, I'll write more later - various imputed income concepts are vying for my attention.

And now, a provoking quote from the lovely miss Bo Derek:
"Who ever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping!"


Does anyone else feel the need to talk more when they are nervous?

Well I do, and my dear friends have classified this as "verbal vomiting." Last semester, I took trial practice. After I finished my performance (be it cross examination, closing argument, etc), I would nervously stand in front of the class and wait for my classmates' and professor's critique. Once they finished, it was time for my response - and I would proceed to verbally spew everything and anything I was thinking (or even thinking about thinking) at the moment - whether appropriate or not.

One example - a dramatic/theatrical expert named Linus or Len or something was supposed to come to watch us and then to help us improve in our lawyering (i love that word!). ANYWAY, I was dreading giving my performance (methinks it was the opening statement week) and I kept putting it off, one classmate after another giving stellar performances - my nausea and out of breathness rapidly getting worse and worse, and then the drama guy shows up! Crap! I hadn't gone yet and now he was going to watch me and only one other person!

Sooo - I give it - the entire opening statement - without breathing. In fact, I wasn't even sure what I said during the second half of the statement b/c no oxygen was going into my brain. Well, evidently everyone else noticed that I hadn't breathed either. So, Mr. Drama Expert comes down to help me and the verbal vomiting begins. . .

Mr. Drama Expert "You need to breathe from your diaphragm. Take a deep breath and that's good, now breath out - see how my stomach is pushed out? Push your stomach out to breathe big. That's a proper breath for public speaking."

Very Nervous Me "Okay, I'll take a deep breath- but see its hard for me because my mom has always told me to suck in when I'm in public and now its hard for me not considering that I've been doing that for like 24 years not that I'm saying I'm fat, but I just don't feel comfortable letting my stomach out...

Mr. Drama Expert(interrupting) "you're not fat"

Me - continuing "Oh no - now I just got you to tell me that I'm not fat. Here you are, this famous drama expert and you come to help me and all I can do is get you to tell me that I'm not fat and I can let out my stomach. What is my husband going to say? He is going to make so much fun of me. (and so on and so on and so on...)

How. HOW DO I DO THAT? How do I manage to meet a very important and knowledgeable person - a man who has come to help us be better attorneys - a man who other attorneys pay a lot of money to have him come and critique them. What do I do? I have him come and tell me that I'M NOT FAT!

So that my friends - is an exemplar (another worthless law school word) of my disease - my verbal vomitingness. I do it all the time - in nerve wrecking situations. I can give a perfect speech, but get me out of my presentation princess mode, and STEP BACK!

And remember - never tell him how much you spent, just how much you saved!


Me and the hubby on our honeymoon! Posted by Picasa

Posing at SunSpot Posted by Picasa

Our law school Halloween party! Posted by Picasa

A cow and a cheerleader walk in a bar... Posted by Picasa

Party time! Posted by Picasa

Sophisticated Fishfaces Posted by Picasa

Helooo world! I am now making my own contribution to the blog universe. I have followed along with several blogs for quite some time - and now I want my own readers!

So - as for what this blog will be about...I want it to be as humorous as possible, but lately I've found that its hard to be funny when you are trying to be.

No pressure right? But I want to capture funny things that happen in my life, in law school, and anything else that strikes my fancy (including celebrity gossip - I'm a big fan of anything juicy).

For my first post, I must talk about something that just happened in class - my teacher just tooted. Not only was it loud, but it was also odiferous (and not in a good way). Now, I know that we all have to toot now and then, but you have to admit that it is a funny thing when someone does ... no matter how old you are. It's even funnier when someone in a position of authority does it. Why is tooting such a public no-no yet so funny?

When I was little, I wasn't allowed to say the word fart - my mother, precious as she is, decided that her little girl didn't need to use the word fart because its not ladylike. So, after years of saying "toot" for her benefit, it's become my secondhand nature. I had a friend who wasn't even allowed to say toot - she had to say "frog". Why in the world "frog" sounds better than "toot" I have no idea.

I mean, in my opinion, if you say "oops, I just frogged" rather than "oops, I just tooted", there are a lot of other things that come to mind besides farting. Seriously.

Well - that's all for now. But remember - if the shoe fits . . . buy it!

Related Posts with Thumbnails