How to make an Artsy Fartsy Shopaholic (also, things you should know if you ever want to impersonate me):

1. I like to brush my teeth in the shower. Sometimes I floss in there, too.
2. I make my coffee (commuter size) with 1 teaspoon of fat free creamer and 4 packets of Sweet & Low.
3. I drive with my seat insanely close to the steering wheel and gas pedal. Because of this, I have been accused of driving like an old woman, which I guess is appropriate considering I drive a Buick Le Sabre with burgundy velour interior.
4. Most Hallmark commercials make me cry – especially the one where the teacher spends a really long time teaching this little boy how to read and then he gets her a thank-you card and… he READS IT TO HER! I know, I know…SNIFF.
5. I adore all things monogrammed, stilettos, and polka dots.
6. When I get nervous, I talk too much.
7. Also, when I have nothing to say, I usually give a lame compliment like “I really like your shirt. It’s so pretty!” Then I laugh nervously. He Haw.
8. I am commonly found guilty of giving TMI. (possible side effect of # 6?)
9. My fingernails have three states: fabulous and manicured, un-even and scratchy, and mutilated with the clippers/ready to start growing all over again.
10. I am a good girl. Therefore, I like bad boys.
11. Sometimes, I deliberately wait a few weeks before using/wearing/displaying an item I recently bought, so that when I do use/wear/display the item and the Knight asks “Is that new?” I can say (with an almost clean conscience) “Nope, I’ve had this for ages!” (Note to the Knight: I don't know where that last sentence came from. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Little 'ole me would never do such a thing.)
12. When greeting friends, I often use the phrases “Heloooo, Hot Stuff” and “Hey Beautiful!” These phrases are fine, I suppose, though a tad too cheery for some people’s taste. But what do I care? I am a tad too cheery for some people’s taste.
13. I have a bionic nose.
14. I think manners are very important, but sometimes I put the napkin on the wrong side of the table just to see if the Knight’s mom will say anything.
15. I am kind of shallow. I really want to be deep and interesting, but I personally think that the details of Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson’s recent nuptials are way more interesting than the pros and cons of natural law.
16. If I could have it my way, all my vehicles and appliances would be hot pink with a glitter finish.
17. I can never remember the words to any songs. Sometimes, I enjoy being at a karaoke bar just so I can learn what those songs I have been mumbling for years really mean. I adore songs like “Yellow Ledbetter” because nobody knows what he is saying... I’m not the only one!
18. Scratch number 17. I just remembered – I do know all the words to “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.” Why? Because, once on a road trip I made it my job to learn the lyrics. 4 ½ hours later… “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta…I mean one that you don't really know…Ridin' around town in a drop-top Benz…Hittin' switches in my black six-fo'…hmmm…hmmm…hmmm.” Okay, well maybe I don’t know all the words, but I know most of them.
19. I'm pretty sure that I gain weight just by looking at food.
20. If ordering a drink at a bar, I typically choose an appletini or a glass of Reisling. But really I have no signature drink…sometimes its lemon drop shots, other times diet coke and jack, and still other times I pick white zin. One thing I will NEVER choose unless I am dirt poor and have no other choice (like when I’m on the river and the choices are this drink and river water) is BEER. Yuck.
21. I really want a motorcycle. With hot pink glitter finish.
22. I used to be able to skateboard moderately well.
23. If I am ever required to made dinner on the fly, this is what I make:
    Baked Salmon with a Red Pepper/Dill Sauce
    Green Beans
    Strawberry/Feta Cheese/Candied Walnuts/Spinach Salad
    French Bread from the bread machine - YUM.
    Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, or Reisling
    (this meal sounds fancy, but it is so effortless - if you want, I will post the recipe)
24. If I could change one physical thing about me, I would get bigger boobs.
25. I am kind of self-centered. Which explains why I just spent an entire evening making up a list of things about myself in case anyone ever wants to be me for Halloween or something. (What?? It could happen.)
26. One more thing…I really am an artsy fartsy shopaholic!

P.S. Daisy reminded me of a couple more things. I can (and often do - okay, well, not often, but enough to merit mentioning it) drink an entire bottle of champagne by myself. With no hangover. Yet I can look at a margarita and get a splitting headache. She also tells me that I have the ability to write life-altering emails. I'm not sure if that ability is a good thing. Also, I have no problem showing Daisy my latest purchases...it is the Knight that I am scared of! :)

(Artsy Fartsy Erikaboo in the flesh! Extra Shiny!! Extra Forehead!!)